Playing Whack-a-Mole with Trauma Reminders: Quick Tools for Fighting Back and Finding Your Calm

 "It smells just like my great-grandma's perfume," I said with teary eyes as I carefully handed over the decorative soap for the lady in the gift shop to wrap in tissue before checking me out. "It's the craziest thing," I said, trying to explain my sudden weepiness. "It's like I was carried right back to her bathroom vanity." 

The cashier, feeling significantly less nostalgic than I was, handed over the soap and sent me on my way. Later that day, I struggled to explain the strange experience to my sister. "Not at all," she said, always the calm scientist in the family. "Our brains have an amazing ability to associate smells with memories. It makes sense that you reacted strongly, especially when the memory hit you out of nowhere."

Sights, smells, sounds, and even touch and taste are powerful connectors to memory. When the memory is good, like being a little girl sitting at my great-grandmother's vanity and playing in her perfumes, those senses bring on positive memories and lift my mood. What do you do, however, when a powerful negative memory assaults you out of nowhere, much like rose-scented soap in a touristy gift shop? 

After trauma or a significant life event, it's common to experience trauma reminders. These "triggers" can include flashbacks, anxiety, and powerful emotions. For some people, these feelings may be accompanied by physical symptoms such as elevated heart rate, racing thoughts, shallow breathing, or a strong desire to run away. Coping with overwhelming emotions is an important skill in our overall mental health. 

When trauma reminders jump out of nowhere, it's important to remember that while our minds and emotions may have jumped a train to trauma town, our bodies are planted safely in the present moment. Take a deep breath, remind yourself that you are present and safe right here and now, and then utilize one of the following techniques to allow your body, mind, and emotions to all catch up with the present moment:

Grounding

Grounding is a powerful technique to allow your body to experience the sensations of the present moment. Take a few calming breaths as you mentally work through the different senses:

1. Observe the space around you. Mentally, name five things you can see with your eyes. Look for stimuli in your present environment, including the sky above.

2. Identify four things you can feel. Maybe you are experiencing the sun on your skin, the wind in your hair, or even the texture of your office chair or the sensation of your feet pressing into the floor.

3. Find three things you can hear. Listen for the sound of traffic on the street, the sound of birds outdoors, or even the sound of the loud employee in the next cubby. It doesn't have to be extravagant or lovely in order to be effective.

4. Identify two things you can smell. Focus on your environment and see what your nose "knows."

5. Identify one thing you can taste. Perhaps it's the coffee you finished a few minutes ago still on your palette, a bite from your lunch or snack, or even popping a piece of gum. At this point, your imagination is probably having to stretch a little bit and that's a good thing. Grounding works as a way to focus our attention on what is happening in the present moment so that we can regulate our nervous systems after an unintended whiplash into our past. 

Categories

Remember the game you used to play in school or at parties when someone would throw out a category of things and you had to race to think of as many things as you could that fit? Categorizing movie titles, items that start with a letter of the alphabet, breeds of dogs, Kevin Bacon movies, or anything that holds your attention can help bring your attention back to the present moment. Plus, it's a fun party game to have in your back pocket!

" What do you do, when a powerful negative memory assaults you out of nowhere, much like rose-scented soap in a touristy gift shop? "

Body Check

 Another way to help get you back into the moment is to activate your nervous system by getting that body moving. Plant your body in a chair, stomp the ground with your feet, gently pat your arms, chest, or head with your hands, or clap, snap, or stretch. If you're alone (or feeling uninhibited), belt out the refrain to a favorite song, whistle, sing, or speak aloud something like, "I am here and I am safe." Once you're feeling present, do some simple stretches, take a lap around the office or neighborhood, or drink a glass of water. Activating our bodies is a great way to orient ourselves to the present. 

Mental Math

Ok, so maybe mental math isn't for everyone, but it's been a tool that's helped me from time to time. If my emotions feel overwhelming, and I'm not in a safe space to fully process them at the moment, a little mental math helps me get my thinking brain back online. Try counting to 100 by a certain number (not ten; that's too easy!) Try doing subtraction or division in your head or counting in a complex sequence (count by doubling and then subtracting 3, for example). The trick is to give you something to help pull your thinking brain into the present. You could even try "counting" your blessings!

After Playing Whack-A-Mole

Trauma reminders can trigger powerful emotional responses seemingly out of nowhere. The key is to remind yourself that you are present and safe at the moment, even if your feelings have carried you back to an event in the past. While copings like grounding, categories, body checks, and mental math can help us get out of our dysregulated state and back into the moment, they are no substitute for processing our complex feelings and trauma. Once you're feeling more regulated, take time to process your emotions. Later that day, grab your journal and get it all out on paper. Where were you, and what were you doing when you had a trauma reminder? What coping skills did you use, and which one was most helpful? What truth do you need to remind yourself of as you reflect on your trauma? Getting it down on paper can be a really important part of processing your trauma and giving yourself the confidence to deal with the reminders in healthy and constructive ways. 

Of course, connecting with a trauma-informed therapist, counselor, or other mental health professional can also serve as an important tool in discovering, processing, and beginning the healing process. If you're experiencing frequent trauma reminders, don't hesitate to reach out to a professional for support. 

A Thought From God's Word

David wrote Psalm 56 after escaping capture by the Philistines in Gath. No doubt traumatized by the life-threatening circumstance, David turned his trauma reminder into a powerful song celebrating God's faithfulness. He ends the psalm this way: "I will fulfill my vows to you, O God, and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for your help. For you have rescued me from death; you have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light." Psalm 56: 12-13 (NLT). Focusing on God's past faithfulness and thanking Him for His deliverance can be a great way to shift our thinking from the pain of our past towards the confidence we have that He will meet every challenge of our future!

Najavits, Lisa. Seeking safety : a treatment manual for PTSD and substance abuse / Lisa M. Najavits. New York : Guilford Press, c2002.