Five Tips for Helping Your Teen Manage Back-to-School Anxiety

A new school year is right around the corner. Whether navigating a new school, taking on more challenging classes and athletics, or trying to figure out friendships, your teen may have lots of anxiety around the start of a new year. Here are five tips for helping your teen get off on the right foot this year:

Tip #1 - Actively listen when your teen shares what gives them anxiety.

Trying out for a new sport or taking their first Advanced Placement class might not seem like much to you, but it can be scary for your child. Practice listening without interrupting, and the tough one, without offering unsolicited advice. Offer your confidence that he or she has what it takes to have a successful year. 

Tip #2 - Set the example for making healthy back-to-school choices

How are you managing your stress levels and anxiety? Are you getting enough sleep, eating right, building exercise into your week, and limiting your social media time? Our teens are watching what we do more than they are hearing what we say. When we take positive steps towards managing our stress levels, our teens see what it means to take ownership of our mental and physical health. 

"67.7 percent of the teenagers said parents are the most influential role models in their lives." -Howard University News Source

Tip #3 - Model, don't manage

As your teen enters late high school, they need to begin to manage their calendars, teacher correspondence, and after-school activities. When your teen is struggling with a teacher or coach, help them to rehearse what they need to do to ask for help, communicate frustration, or take charge of a situation. Allowing them to navigate through those conflicts alone before you step in builds confidence and lets your teen see that you trust them to make the right decision. Follow up that you’re there to offer assistance if the situation worsens or they feel like they’re in over their head. When they’re successful, praise them for taking initiative and doing the right thing.

Tip #4 - Help your teen take an honest appraisal of their school schedule and commitments.

Just because your teen can take a full college-level load, play a sport, chair a committee, have a leadership role in two clubs, and keep a part-time job doesn’t mean they should. The goal of high school should be growth, not perfection. If your student is stressed about managing all of the responsibilities before the year even begins, now might be the time to choose which things to let go of to build a schedule they can manage. Remind your teen that high school is a time for academics and sports, but it’s also a time for cultivating friendships, discovering new interests, and spending quality time with family. Give them the freedom to see high school as more than just building a college transcript.

Tip #5 - Re-enforce your love for and appreciation of your teen apart from what they do or achieve.

Look for ways to build up your teen’s confidence by pointing out growth in their character, mindset, and maturity over their academic or extracurricular success. Find ways to praise them for who they are over what they do, and leave plenty of space in family conversations to talk about things other than grades and college plans. 

Back-to-school can be a challenging time for teens and parents. Before the school year begins, commit to being a safe space for your teens to share their anxiety, and also a place for them to receive the kind of encouragement and trust they need to move towards adulthood. Take a deep breath or two and set an intention that this year’s goal is growth and maturity, not achievement or perfection. The more we communicate our confidence in our teens, the more they can practice the kind of growth mindset that will carry them far beyond the high school years.

A final thought from God's Word

In Jeremiah 31:1, God reminds the prophet how much He loves the nation of Israel, despite their many flaws and failures. He says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness." When we demonstrate love for our teens regardless of performance, we point them toward a God whose love for us never fails.